We are not okay.

“Are You Okay?” Do You Really Want to Know?

This is a powerful piece. I know the subject of Joe’s grief. I don’t think I asked him whether he is okay. I just sent him my condolences and had a brief exchange.

I had a powerful sense that Joe wasn’t the same with this. My issue with it was that I am not really good at this. I just didn’t know what to say to him. I still don’t know what to say to him. Joe, I’m sorry, man. I just don’t know what to do or say.

I’m pretty awful in situations like this. I am good at not “saying the wrong thing.” Because I’m an ace in these situations at not saying ANYTHING. I wish I could change that. But I suppose the lesson here is that, “Are you okay” is too frequently a hollow phrase.

Or maybe it’s not as hollow as we think. Maybe we can all hear and understand the response. Maybe, like me, we are just too often unable to cope ourselves with the truthful answer.

The conflict with myself.


“Our community is in fucking crisis right now.”

As I stood in the shower, alcoholic beverage in hand, trying to let the hot water calm me down, I read this text message from a friend and fellow jumper. Yeah, no shit, I thought. I’ve been realizing for a while that as a community we’re not okay, but this was a much clearer, stronger, more blunt description of our dire situation. In 8 days time we lost 3 friends, including a double fatality, which other than a triple a few years back has never happened before. Most of us were still mourning the passing of Mat when we heard the news of Rami and Katie. Some of us, myself included, hadn’t even had a proper chance to deal with our grief and loss of Mat when Rami and Katie died. No, we are certainly not okay.

In most cases I hate…

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